So I’ve had a few requests for jokes. I decided against the funeral home jokes, but in their place I’ll put some bad, poor taste and drumroll please jokes about Frogs. And let me tell you, if we didn’t get offended by these then you better laugh. You know with a name like One Fat Frog it’s always funny calling the stuffy CEO’s office. While we’re widely known in food service circles, some banks have not heard of us. My funniest story is the “executive assistant” who took my call.
ME: Hello, this is <insert my name here> from One Fat Frog, I’m returning a call to <insert name here>.
STUFFY EXEC ASST: Thank you for calling, can you please repeat that. (while trying to maintain uber-air of seriousness)
ME: Hello, This is <insert my name here, curse words not allowed> from One Fat Frog. I’m returning a call to <insert name here>.
STUFFY EXEC ASST: Can you please repeat that again; who are you with?
ME: (at about this time I clue in, they’re baffled, certainly a business would never call themselves Fat… it’s just not PC. Yet, they’re not going to risk embarrassment and repeat it). Yes, I’m with One Fat Frog.
STUFFY EXEC ASST: Okay, so you’re with One Splat Frog OR VARIATION you’re with One Mat Frog OR VARIATION you’re with One At Frog <note to self, STUFFY EXEC ASST will never bring self to say word FAT>
ME: Yes, It’s FAT like big and fat, ribbit ribbit
STUFFY EXEC ASST: Oh. <insert brain clicking here>
ME: It’s okay to laugh. We don’t take ourselves too seriously, our name is meant to be a joke. <insert me laughing and STUFFY EXEC ASST becoming human>
Now if you found that one funny, imagine our baby years, we’re not well known and Central Florida has not heard of us so every conversation is “what, did you say One Fat Frog?!” So, Mr. Bossman would make an outgoing return phone call and try to mumble it “Hi, this is Mr. Bossman from … mumble…mumble…mumble… Restaurant Equipment…. Yes, I’m with mumble..mumble. ” It was almost as fun to watch him squirm as it is to torture STUFFY EXEC ASST.
Really if you’re ever up for a bit of phone fun- it’s almost as humorous as those phone pranks we made back in the day prior to caller ID (Hello, is your refrigerator running? Well, you better go get it now. Do you have Prince Phillip in a can? Well you better let him out.)
In fact we sort of have a rhythm going in the office that when we hear someone we will go over and count how many times they repeat themselves to the STUFFY EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT.
One Fat Frog- bringing mirth, smiles and laughter to offices, restaurants and businesses globally. It’s not a sin to laugh, in fact it’s rather healthy to laugh. Smile, you might like it!
Now on to our promised reallllllllllly baaaaad jokes. In fact they beat anything Mr. Bossman or Mr. IT Guy might tell at work.
============= Bad Frog Jokes ============== Be a good sport and insert laughter as needed
Three frogs walked into a bar, the fourth frog ducked.
<insert 4 year old’s laughter here>
Why are frogs so happy?They eat watever bugs them!What does a frog wear on St. Patrick’s day?Nothing!What did the frog dress up for on Halloween?A prince.
What’s green and jumps? <drumroll please>A frog!! (groan!)
<sheepish grin>What do you say to a hitch-hiking frog?Hop in!Florida Frog Humor:What kind of shoes do frogs wear?Open toad!With my Master’s degree you would think I’d give you a little high brow frog humor, so here it is:Again- like to read a good book? Here’s a bad frog joke on the topic:What is the first book a tadpole reads?Metamorphosis by Kafka.For our library friends-Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?He liked a good croak and dagger.No offense, Sanford PD-What happened to the frog’s car when his parking meter expired?It got toad!!You knew this one- you didn’t have to be an astrologer to know that…What is a frogs favorite time?Leap Year!
(okay, okay, I do admit Libby Lu’s is our favorite store at the mall-blech)Why did the frog go to the mall?Because he wanted to go hopping.
Overheard at the Sanford and Brevard zoos:What did the frog say to the fly?You are really starting to bug me!For our surfing friends at Sebastian Inlet:What does a frog say when it sees somethin’ great?Toadly awesome!
What do you call a frog with no legs?It doesn’t matter- he won’t come anyway.What do you call a frog with legs?Dinner.
Why did the frog croak?Because he ate a poisonous fly!What is a frog’s favorite game?CroaketWhat did the frog order at McDonald’s?French flies and a diet CroakFor my friend Jeannie who was engaged at the Star Trek exhibit in Las Vegas (no kidding!)What does a Romulan frog use for camoflage?A croaking device!
What do stylish frogs wear?
(Ah, Webmaster, I’m sure you’re wishing for an Arizona Ice Tea Joke)What do ya call a frog’s favorite soda?Croaka-Cola!(In honor of my fav Biketoberfest and all the folks who ride here in Central Florida and go to trailer week….hahaha)Why did the motorcycle rider buy a pet frog?To pick the flies out from between his teeth
<insert eyeroll please>What does a bankrupt frog say?”Baroke, baroke, baroke.”For the cat lovers:What has more lives that a cat?A frog that goes croak every night.From the former English teacher:Why are frogs such liars?Because they are amFIBians.For those who asked for frog jokes and now regret it:What did the frog do after it heard a funny joke?It started to croak up!
One Fat Frog •2416 Sand Lake Road • Orlando, FL • 407-480-3409